The mother of all recaps…

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So I know I haven’t written in forever. I called Carle today and she scolded me and told me I had to post tonight. So here I am, it’s almost midnight and I’m trying to find a way to post everything that has happened:
-Two weeks ago today I was held up at gunpoint at the VS. No one got hurt. The guy got his money and then he left. I can’t say too much because the police said so.
-I had a few days off afterward. I didn’t get paid for all of them.
-I have been told that I’m going to be transferred to another store. I don’t want to go.
-Jen and Jared have moved in together. No they aren’t dating but it makes it hard to go see Jen.
-Jen’s ex-boyfriend Billy started talking to her again. He is the one that dumped her over text message. She is still in love with him.
-Jen’s grandpa died. She went over to Billy’s spend the night. Even after she found that Billy has a really embarrassing problem that she promised not to tell anyone about. I told her it wasn’t a good idea.
So for more details please click to continue.

First here are my thoughts on the robbery. I was scared! I mean it was a gun. The guy didn’t put it in my face, he left it on the counter. My first reaction was, that gun looks like it was made out of plastic and has been super glued together. My second reaction was, even if it is plastic it could still shoot bullets and those will definitely hurt. I gave the guy the money and he left. It was very hard to stay calm but I had to hold it together because I was the manager on duty. Thankfully there was another associate there with me. The worst part was that I had to hold it together until I got to the police station and could call my mom. I called her and I started crying.

Mom: Hello
Me: Mommy
Mom: What’s wrong?
Me: Mommy, I was held at gun point. He came in and he had a gun.

The rest of the conversation was mostly me sobbing and trying to explain what happened. I had managed to hold it together until that point but by the time I was done talking to her I had to go to the bathroom and clean up because my nose was all runny.

So I’m suppose to go therapy. The therapist guy hasn’t gotten in touch with me though. I don’t know what to do about it.

Jen moving in with Jared. Well the first time I went over there was the night of the robbery. I had never been there before but I didn’t want go home and be myself. So I spent the night there. Jen was really great about it. But she doesn’t know about the rape so I don’t think she really understood why my PTSD was so easily triggered. I mean I am on freaking anti-anxiety meds anyway, then this on top of it. Yeah it wasn’t a fun next couple of days.

So since I’ve gone to visit Jen it’s been weird. Most of the time it is fine but when Jared is there he tries to watch TV with us. Like tonight, Jen and I had gotten food from Cheesecake factory and brought it home. We were watching LOSVU (that’s Law & Order: Special Victims Unit) and Jared came home. He sits too close to me. I mean as in invading what I consider to be my personal space but there was nowhere else to sit. I finally moved because I had to go to take my meds. Still I didn’t like it. I wish he didn’t feel the need to watch TV with us. But I think he is trying to prove to me that he would be a good boyfriend for Jen. Only Jen isn’t interested in him.

Jen instead is going after her ex-boyfriend Billy, who when he dumped her caused her to become practically suicidal and she talked about moving from Boston altogether. So now she is going back to him because he is being nice again. It’s like watching someone go back into an abusive relationship, well it is, but I mean physically abusive. Actually it is exactly like that.

She is doing it now too. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just because when women believe that someone is in love with them it’s very hard to give up. But at the same time men know this and they use it against us. It’s just wrong.

So that’s really it for now. I’ll write more later. I hope. Jen is going away for the next couple of days so I should be able to write more.
TTYL!
Laterz!

This was originally posted at http://damaged-girl.net/?p=107