Yeah right, when are the holidays ever really happy? Well I’m not speaking with my mom, again, maybe for sometime now too. The night before I left everyone was talking about what they were going to do with my laptop the next day. I finally was like, I’m packing my laptop tonight.
My brother yelled: “You can’t pack your laptop tonight!”
Me: It’s my laptop!
Then a whole fight ensued. Which ended with me crying!?! My other brother Todd (he is the one who I like) ended up having to seat up with me for another hour so that I would stop crying and was able to finish cleaning up. I packed everything up that night.
The next morning my mom and I went to go visit some friends in Takoma Park, which should have just been a 45 minute trip in the car there, an hour and half for food and talk, and then another 45 minutes back, but it ended up talking longer because of this major accident. So in total my mom and I spent almost 2 and a half hours alone with each other before we went back home.
30 seconds before I’m about to leave my mom says to me:
Mom: I just wanted to let you know that I don’t want any more family gatherings if there are going to be temp tantrums
Me: What are you talking about Jed-
Mom: I just wanted to say that we aren’t going to have anymore family gatherings if there are going to be tantrums. It’s stressful enough as it is and your grandmother doesn’t need to see it. It upsets me so much but I’ll just have to deal with it.
Me: It upsets me too! I spent all night crying. I didn’t have a tantrum Jed-
Mom: You did have a tantrum.
Me: JED WAS YELLING AT ME! He was telling me that I couldn’t pack my own things. No one bothered to ask me what I wanted to do. Everyone assumed that-
Mom: Yes we assumed you would want to do something for the family.
Dad (who would had been in the bathroom comes out): You are doing this now 30 seconds before she is leaving what about earlier? Is this how you want to end her visit.
Me (gathering my already backed backs): Yes, because I’m obviously not a very important member in this family. Let’s just go Daddy. Please let’s just go.
And that was that. I left. I’m no longer allowed to go to family events because I’m the trouble maker. Oh well. I mean I didn’t feel like much of a member of my family anyway what with being adopted and all so now it’s just more obvious that I’m just not a part of that family and that they just don’t care about my emotional well being. Okay, that’s great. I guess I’ll just have a Dad and a brother, lots of people get along fine that way.
Anyway Jed and Todd’s mom keeps calling me. She keeps leaving messages and says that she wants to apologize for her bad timing. I am not talking to her until she apologizes for making it seem like it was all my fault.
On the plus side I got the RENT Broadway Cast recording and the Film soundtrack for x-mas and a bunch of stuff for my ipod.
Well time for bed. Mei-Mei is crying outside the door, she knows that I’ll break down and let her in about to seconds. I don’t know why I can’t stand up to her. Oh well. She loves me!
Happy New Year’s everyone!
This was originally posted at http://damaged-girl.net/?p=119