OMG its so late (sorry not proof-read)

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Okay, I totally lost track of time.  So let’s see where we left off yesterday.  S had divorced from Tanya and Trudi were never to be seen again, except through the occasional blurry picture that was emailed to my mother.  I know it sounds dramatic but that is actually the way it is.

Anyway S got back on his feet, eventually, (I’ll spare you all of the details) got a job, and started to date a woman named Libby.  I actually really did think Libby was sane.  Not the prettiest person but she seemed like a good woman and her family was normal.  She already owned her own condo and had a very steady job.  S moved in with her about two months (maybe less) after they started dating.   A few months later Libby was pregnant.  Yes, my brother S does not know how not to be in a relationship, which is one of his biggest problems.

After everyone found out that Libby was pregnant we kind of started to feel good again.  It was still hard when we thought about Trudi but at least our family was starting to grow again.  S was really excited and a couple of weeks in to March little Anne was born.  Unfortunately after Anne was born Libby went psycho, she basically did not trust anyone with Anne except herself and her mother.  She worried over every little thing and it was super annoying.  We all thought it would die down eventually because she was a new mom but it never did.

Two years later Jacob was born.  At this point things in S and Libby’s relationship went from just tense to extremely bad.  S has even told me that he does not love Libby, and he did not realize how dumb Libby was.  Yes, my parents raised a brood of intellectual snobs.  I totally blame them because I really can’t even think about dating a guy who doesn’t at least have a college degree, but that’s not the point right now.  Oh, and I may have skipped over any number of happy things about S and Libby’s relationship, but since I do not know about them I cannot tell you about them.

What I can is that Libby has made it perfectly clear on many occasions that she does not trust S, the father of her children, alone with the kids for any length of time.  She also does not trust my mother, or me with the children.  She trusts her own mom, although I guess that’s cause she is her mom.  One time we were all at my parents’ house and Anne was running around while Libby was in the shower.  Libby came out to the porch and basically yelled at S in front of all of us: You are supposed to be watching Anne!  Like he was not keeping an eye on her, which he was, I was, and my mother was.  Anne would have not gotten into any trouble at all.  But since we were not hovering around her I guess Libby thought S was not doing his job as a parent.

After that I never really tried to get close to Libby.  It is hard for me to trust people that do not trust me.  I have told my mother on several occasions that Libby is a psycho and really we should just try to stay out of her way.  My mom did not believe me, which brings me to the horrible, awful, tragic point of this whole background story of my family’s current status.

My mom really has been working on trying to form some type of connection with Libby.  Something to make the relationship easier between them so that, when (not if) Libby and S divorce she will still be allowed to see her grandchildren.  Unfortunately a couple of weeks ago something happened and for some reason she told Libby about what happened between N and me (aka that N sexual abused me when he was a teenager, see previous posts).

I do not think my mom has ever told anyone outside of our immediate family (Mom, Dad, S, N, and me), well besides the social workers and case workers.  I know she never really talked about it with any of her friends.

At first I was just mad at her for telling Libby without asking me about it first.  Then I was just mad at Libby.  After she found out she sent me an email that basically said she did not want N anywhere near the kids unless she was there.

Keep in mind, and I have said this many times before, N went to therapy.  He received treatment, he is reformed.  I have forgiven; my whole family has forgiven him.  He is my brother, I love him.  The fact that she thinks, even for a second, that N would ever do anything to her kids makes me so disgusted with her that I just want to do some horribly violent things to her.

My mother is devastated, she never imaged that Libby would react this way.  Now we are stuck in this very hard place, do we tell N that Libby knows about the sexual abuse and that despite the fact that he is totally reformed she does not want him around the kids.  Or do we keep quiet and hope that Libby never brings it up.

Also, if anyone knows a lawyer can you ask them to contact me?  I want if there is anyway that I can prevent Libby from using this information against S during a custody hearing.  I especially want to know if there is any way to keep Libby from ever telling anyone about my sexual abuse, it happened to me not her.  But knowing Libby she will run her mouth of to all her friends and family and I do not think I could take her parents looking at me like I was broken or something.  Ugh this whole thing is super frustrating.

This was originally posted at http://damaged-girl.net/?p=405