So I am still really bent out of shape over this whole thing with Libby and my family. None of us have told N what Libby said, we are still trying to decide if we should. I think we should because Libby has a big mouth and cannot be trusted. Mom and Dad think that we shouldn’t tell him. S is pissed off at Libby but also does not want to tell N. Now we all have to deal with the fact that Libby will not let the kids be around N, for a totally illegitimate reason.
If my parents had not done anything with N it would be a different story. That is not the case, my parents believed me, so I got lucky. They even called Child Protective Services on their own son! I mean how hard must have that been? They did it though because it was the right thing to do. They knew that N needed help and that they were going to have to get it for him.
I know some people believe that you cannot reform sexual abusers; and in some cases that is true. If the abuser does not want to change their behavior they will not, they will just keep on abusing. However, if the abuser wants to change and actively commits to change and has the support of his or her family, well then they can change. They can be reformed if they accept responsibility for their actions and recognize what they did was wrong.
N did that, and it was not just an overnight process for him. He went to therapy and family therapy from the time that he was 13 years old well into adulthood. The fact that Libby could even think that he would be capable of doing something like that again makes me sick and pretty much makes me wish that we were not connected to her in any way at all. Unfortunately we now share two kids with her, which hopefully we will still get to see.
I am pretty sure that Mom and S could not handle it if Libby did the same thing that Tanya did. I also think that S needs to get fixed since when he and Libby finally do get divorced I am sure he will not be able to stay out of a relationship for very long. No more kids for S! Nope, I’m not going through this mess a third time.
So that is the situation I have been dealing with for the past couple of weeks, maybe even a month now. Thankfully I have not seen Libby since this whole thing started.
However, she just emailed me out of the blue and asked if I still wanted to go to the zoo with her and the kids. UGH!!! Why couldn’t just be with the kids. I really want to go with the kids but I do not want to go with her.
She wanted to do something this Sunday but luckily I already have plans so that worked out. I am just really worried if I keep putting it off she will tell me that I can’t see the kids anymore. This whole thing is a mess!!!