My quick review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

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If you haven’t finished the book than please do not click on the link.


Okay so I though the following would happen: 50/50 on Harry dying, Harry was the last horcrux, and that’s all that I tried to guess.

What I found out that would happen before I got the book (aka foilers and spoilers): At least 6 people would kick it, Harry would kick it, Harry wouldn’t kick it, Snape would kick it saving Harry, Snape was the last horcrux, Hagrid would kick it.

What actually happened:

The characters whose death had an impact on me (aka people who have been in more than one book that a) I remember or b) was made to be important because they were in more than one book): Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Wormtail, Dobby, Crabbe, Fred, Lupin, Tonks, Snape, Colin Creevey (was he the younger old one?), Bellatrix, Harry, and Voldemort!

Okay that’s way more than 6 and those are what I consider the important deaths mostly because these people have been in more than one book. There were people who we just meet who were dying left and right!

Deaths that made me the most sad: Hedwig, Dobby, Fred, Lupin, Tonks, and Colin Creevey.

Hedwig: If one of my cats or Morty died I would probably not leave my apartment for a week!

Dobby: Why! I mean seriously, why!

Fred: I heard on MuggleCast that this would put an end to twin-cest, which thank god for that. I’ve never come across it but come on people! Geez! However, Fred! They just got Percy back and they loose Fred! That’s just cruel!

Lupin and Tonks: I know they didn’t have a proper death scene but I was in shock! They just had a baby! Of course I totally didn’t see Lupin and Tonks coming, that was like say what? But when they were killed I couldn’t get over it. Do you realize that means all of the Marauders are now dead! How evil!

Colin Creevey: Sure the Creevey brother’s annoyed Harry but come on! They were innocent, awful, just awful!

I’m not going to say that the other deaths made me happy because they didn’t. Voldermort, well what are you going to say about him? I mean really what else was going to happen?

On the epilogue: I don’t know how I feel about it. I was kind of happy to see what happened to them but at the same time it felt incomplete and hokey. Why, well after all that death and such it was just rushed and felt like. Oh well after everyone died the people who managed to not kick it lived happily ever after. Ta da!

What Jen and I rewrote the epilogue to (I am paraphrasing and adding a bit too): Jen and I talked on phone last Sunday (7/22) after I finished the book and we decided to re-write it One Tree Hill style!

After Harry and Ginny get married and before Hermione and Ron get married Harry and Hermione are hanging out one night and get really drunk. A la George and Izzy from Grey’s Anatomy they sleep together. Hermione gets pregnant but she is not 100% sure that it’s Harry’s so she ends up telling Ron it’s his and they get married. She lucks out that the kid has red hair and figures it’s got to be Ron’s forgetting the fact that Harry’s mom had red hair.

We fast forward to the scene at King’s Crossing where all the kids are getting on the train. After they leave and Ron has seen all the kids together things start to click in his head. He figures out that Hugo (whom I think is the oldest kid) is really Harry’s. Chaos ensues and Ron goes mad and ends up in St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Ginny is furious not because Hermione and Harry slept together but because they drove her brother insane. She leaves Harry with 3 kids and runs off with either Neville or Draco (take or your pick).

Harry and Hermione are stuck with the kids but since they aren’t in love with each other and they bumble along haplessly trying to raise a total of 5 kids who have varying degrees of resentment towards them since they are now only single parent families.

And that people is real life! Well except of the part where Ginny runs off with Draco, if you picked that choice.

I know, I know, you didn’t think it could get worse than JKR’s ending, ha! You were so wrong! So, so, so wrong! *evil maniacal laughter*

Well I’m off to bed. ^_^

TTYL!

Laterz!